Investigation: injustice

Only words that have recently come to mind when i thought about writing a blog for the I words.
Sometimes I feel like I cant sit for a moment without thinking of all the not so nice things that happen thoughout the day.
Just between us I think they may have the wrong person for the job. I question what I do, and I have NEVER had doubt as big as this when it comes to my job. I love it, honestly I do. I help people every day and I dont know if I could have a job that rewards me as much as this. I am proud to serve the people of texas. I would just rather go back to answering phones, answering questions and help in the capacity I was before. I think i made a better impact and difference there. As an investigator, well wait... I'm not even that, I am an underpaid, underglorified csr, Im not even fairly compensated for my mental stress (which has been quite a bit lately). I can do what I used to, and now there are more responsibilities, and someone nitpicking the whole flippin way. Go me. Way to move up eh... When changes happened I KNEW the bus didnt even have to move and I would be trown under it. I was right.
I had a meeting with the director not so long ago and I told him I was ready to quit, give up right then and there and say goodbye. I explained my reasons and he basically said I couldnt quit even if I wanted to. I've been on radar for a while (i dont know if its good or bad) and apparently the one person who I thought would be the one to stand in my way of success was actually the one who strongly advocated for me to take on these new job duties and responsibilites. Hes the one who put that carrot in front of my face last year and I bit, like a sucker. He saw he got a reaction out of me when I was backed into a corner. I have seriously considered quitting, I have responsibilites though.
It is an injustice to my self and to the people i serve. I have been challenged on a specific section of UI law. the grand puba jedi UI master at eptc even backed me up on it. Apparently the beating the poor horse got the first time wasnt to the satisfaction of the nitpicker... it went to state office and I was shut up. Not because I was wrong. Because someone wanted to save face and their own ass. I have made many enemies during my career there. I blame my OCD. I have even corrected our Operations manager on a case that he incorrectly issued a decision on. Someone was truly screwed over by that, yes I had a smile on my face and so did my supervisor when I fixed it. But when I am told that my investigation wasnt good enough, and no not just this one but every other one I have touched leaves me feeling a lil pissed and just a lil upset for those who i have served. It isnt fair, yeah yeah life isnt fair bite my ass. But when my name is associated with any kind of work it better be quality. Those who know me know that it is and sometimes even better. Just check out my last review, out of all the calls monitored from feb 2010 to nov 2011 I only had two that were not outstanding and in typical Duck fashion I wanted to hear them and sit down and argue over those two. I am in no way a perfectionist, HAHA far from it, but I take pride it what I do.


Yes it has come to a point where I realize I have been rambling. I am so upset over this stuff. I think it may be a part of my constant headaches.. did you know there is only so much one person can take and having a migraine since october 24th is enough to make someone MAD. The first MRI did not show anything that would be helpful. Medication hasnt come to my rescue. I am scheduled for another one on Thursday and maybe this one will give some more insight as to the brain pain, and facial numbness. Please dont stare (you are going to hell), I know my face is jacked up. Note to self: medication makes me ramble, mean, and feel a lil tipsy (good thing I dont drive lol)
As far as my sewing projects you can guess there havent been many that I have felt like working on. Just some hemming projects, and repairs.
Additional note to self: create carrying case design for lil mans new mobigo and games. Santa was kind this year.
My resolution, not that you care but if you read this far damn.. good job. I will return to school, I started studies in Business Management but I will be considering Law, more specifically Unemployment Law. I will also expand on my fledgling AVON business (how else am i gonna play these medical bills). Debt will be eliminated, and home (that belongs to us & the bank lol) will be aquired.

Consider your ass handed to you 2012.

Another Day
Another Time

Sew Ducky Sew